Couples Therapy

You were so in love, but something changed along the way.

Can you even remember when the fighting started… or perhaps worse, when the communication dropped off altogether?

Are you working more so you don’t have to go home? It’s easy to understand. After all, at work you do a good job, people like you, and you get a sense of satisfaction. It’s a lot more pleasant than going home where you feel like you can’t do anything right.

Maybe you don’t initiate intimacy anymore because you’re worried about being rejected. Again. Then you don’t talk about what’s bothering you because you just can’t handle another fight.

Sometimes the arguments are about money… sometimes about the children… sometimes about family. It feels like you can’t communicate anymore. You feel like you are never heard.

When things aren’t getting better and you’re looking around at your single friends who seem happier, it’s no surprise that you’re wondering whether or not you want out.

So, what happened to the love… to the trust?

It is so painful when you feel unprotected, unsafe, and unheard. You are having the same arguments over and over. You have needs, and you’ve tried to express them. But nothing has changed. and your needs weren’t met. You feel so angry sometimes and either fly off the handle or just shut down.

If your partner doesn’t support you, what’s the point of staying in the relationship?

Each day you wake up and look at your partner and wonder if it is worth it. You try to balance the confusion of what once was and where things are now. How did things get to this point?

Most people don’t realize…

… how their early life experiences impact their relationships. Childhood is where we first learn to trust people and learn how to navigate relationships. We learn from our parents and families what love looks like, even if we don’t like what we see!

During childhood, we learn to avoid painful situations by giving in, avoiding difficulties altogether, or by trying so hard to make others happy.

And for those who have experienced any type of abuse in life – physical, emotional, and/or sexual – these experiences and how we managed them directly impact our adult relationships. The coping strategies we used as children, which helped us then, continue into our adult relationships where they are often destructive.

If your relationship is weighing you down, I can help.

I will help you learn to identify patterns of behaviors that help and those that hurt the relationship you want most. We will work on building the skills you need to help you recapture the trust, intimacy, and fulfillment that you had and want back.

We will work on communicating in ways that enable your partner to hear you, and we will help you learn to listen so that your partner feels heard.

When your partner does something upsetting, and you feel yourself starting to react, I will teach you to understand what coping skills you’re using, where it comes from, and how to use different coping skills that brings your relationship together instead of pushing your relationship further apart. So instead of reacting to what your partner says with anger or rage, you will understand what is happening differently. You will be able to calmly and clearly engage in dialogue that will help you both hear each other and help each other get to an outcome that feels right.

Much of the work we will do together is based on a therapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT. CBT is very well researched and heavily utilized – because it is very powerful, and it works!

It’s time to get back your relationship.

You may feel that your relationship is hopeless. You’re past the point of no return, and there is no way for you or your partner to really change. And are you really going to admit that your relationship is in real trouble? Knowing you need help is important. Reaching out for help is what will make the difference.

Reclaim the relationship that meant everything to you!

Call now and start the journey home: (310) 552-2033.